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Friday, July 5th, 2013
12:01 pm - 07-02-2013
Super fit, totally super
I hit 175 pounds recently and that's fucking ridic. *163 now
- Lose weight, weigh 155 pounds
- Run 10k
- Track run distances and times
- Comfortably sit cross-legged (posture)
- Fix shoulder

Finance
- Continue increasing net worth $1,000 per month
- $5k investment
- Last will and testament
- Collect from Shayne

Fix dat shi~
- Exhaust leak
- Gas leak
- O2 sensor
- Fix bike fairing
- Bike maintenance
- Rotate tires/oil change car

Curiosities:
- Get Yukie a driver's license
- Philanthropy
- Donate blood
- Meditation
- Speed reading
- Make my own music
- Write Diary

Sell/give away:
- Receiver? $100-175
- 5.1 surround sound speaker system?
- PS3? $150

(comment on this)

Sunday, March 10th, 2013
11:01 pm
03-10-13

Super fit, totally super
I hit 175 pounds recently and that's fucking ridic. *169 now
- Lose weight, weight 155 pounds
- Run 10k
- Track run distances and times
- Comfortably sit cross-legged (posture)
- Diary of RSI symptoms relative to physical activity

Apartment
- Find a new one
- Prepare for moving

Finance
- Continue increasing net worth $1,000 per month
- $5k investment
- Last will and testament
- Collect from T&S

Fix dat shi~
- Exhaust leak
- O2 sensor
- Fix bike fairing
- Bike maintenance
- Rotate tires/oil change car

Curiosities:
- Get Yukie a driver's license
- Philanthropy
- Donate blood
- Meditaton
- Speed reading
- Make my own music
- Write Diary

Sell/give away:
- Injectors
- Frame sliders
- Camera
- Baseball cards
- Bicycle
- Dining table and couches

(comment on this)

Monday, June 11th, 2012
3:01 am - June udpate
06-11-12

Super fit, totally super
I hit 175 pounds recently and that's fucking ridic. *164 now
- Lose weight, weight 155 pounds
- Run 10k
- Track run distances and times
Bonus: 6 pack just cause
+ Fix back pain

Apartment (lease renewed)
- Sell couches and table

Program a computer (language)
*Finish Python 6.189
*Program a Battleship clone
*Program and Tetris clone

Budget
- Increase net worth $1,000 per month *Increase it now that rent is shared
- $15k car fund
- $5k travel fund
- $5k investment

Fix dat shi~
- Air conditioning stuck on
- Exhaust leak
- Install Frame sliders

Curiosities:
- Get Yukie a driver's license
- Study negotiation
- Philanthropy
- Speed reading
- Make my own music
- Write Diary

Sell/give away:
- Injectors
- Baseball cards
- Bicycle
- Dining table and couches

(comment on this)

Thursday, February 16th, 2012
5:58 pm - Update
02-15-12

Super fit, totally super
I hit 175 pounds recently and that's fucking ridic.
- Lose weight, weight 155 pounds
- Run 10k
- Track run distances and times
Bonus: 6 pack just cause

Apartment (lease renewed)
- Renew insurance (Add Yukie)
- Free up space and rearrange
- Decorate / Fix anything disliked

Program a computer (language)
*Finish Python 6.189
*Program a Battleship clone
*Program and Tetris clone

Budget
- Stick to it!
- Rebuild emergency fund
- Increase net worth $1,000 per month *Increase it now that rent is shared
- Invest more
- Stop driving, start using bus/bike to work

Fix dat shi~
- Fix up bicycle

Curiosities:
- Study negotiation
- Philanthropy
- Speed reading
- Make my own music
- Write Diary

Sell/give away:
- Mountaineering boots, helmets, gators, tank bag
- Yukie’s computer
- Blackberry Curve
- Books

(comment on this)

Monday, November 14th, 2011
10:34 pm - Goals update!
It's that time again. Let's see how I've done and revise the previous goals:

Super fit, totally super *I lost weight then stopped because I was worried about losing muscle. Just starting this trend again. It was super successful before (10 lbs in 4 weeks)
*I hit 175 pounds recently and that's fucking ridic.
- Lose weight, weight 155 pounds
- Run 10k
- Track run distances and times
- Get eyes checked
Bonus: 6 pack just cause

Budget
- Stick to it!
- Increase net worth $1,000 per month *close! Saved $900/month so far.
- If you want to spend more, make more!

Fix dat shi~
- Car exhaust smell
- air conditioning
- Fix bike ignition
- Bike scheduled maintenance
- Car maintenance (oil, tires, fluids)

Curiosities:
- Study negotiation
- Speed reading
- Make my own music
- Write Diary
- Program a computer (language) *Progress!
*Finish Python 6.189
*Program a Battleship and Tetris clone

Get rid of some crap *Adding to this list
Sell/give away:
- Guitars
- Computer junk (build HTPC?)
- keyboard tray
- bicycle (in spring)
- sell expensive mountaineering gear
- Crampons, ice axe, snow anchor, mountaineering boots, snow shovel


Clean list:
Super fit, totally super
*I hit 175 pounds recently and that's fucking ridic.
- Lose weight, weight 155 pounds
- Run 10k
- Track run distances and times
- Get eyes checked
Bonus: 6 pack just cause

Budget
- Stick to it!
- Increase net worth $1,000 per month
- If you want to spend more, make more!

Fix dat shi~
- Bike scheduled maintenance
- Car maintenance (oil, tires, fluids)

Curiosities:
- Study negotiation
- Speed reading
- Make my own music
- Write Diary
- Program a computer (language) *Progress!
*Finish Python 6.189
*Program a Battleship and Tetris clone

Get rid of some crap
Sell/give away:
- Guitars
- Motorcycle helmets and extra gear
- Computer junk (build HTPC?)
- bicycle (in spring)
- sell expensive mountaineering gear
- Crampons, ice axe, snow anchor, mountaineering boots, snow shovel

(comment on this)

Sunday, October 2nd, 2011
3:21 pm - Stagnant and tired
I'm unhappy. With lots of things. Everyone who I see as my equal makes more money than I do by 40-100%. I feel pigeon-holed in my career paths. My hobbies bore me and many of my friends tend to do the same. My girlfriend refuses to fight or exhibit ANY element of drama that is not self-depricating in the sense that she sacrifices herself above me. This should be a good thing. This should tell me she's a keeper. It does not. It makes me feel like I'm dating myself. If she can't cause a negative reaction in me she can't cause a positive one, and I don't find myself upset with her, only disappointed. I may be driving this relationship in to the ground, but in my heart it never really took off in the first place. It's my fault. Unapologetically, uncaringly, it's my fault and it's going to happen anyway. if I can't find love here-- if I can't find passion-- I'm going to burn it down trying.

...
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

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Thursday, August 4th, 2011
1:47 am - Starcraft 2 I'm breaking up with you Part 2
Yukie encouraged me to keep playing so I have. I got up to top 500 in the US at one point and fell back a bit recently. Other than the basic premise of the last post (due in August) I have made good progress on the other elements. It's time for an update and a new list!

Things I'd rather do than play SC2 all day-- and have significant improvement by August January 1st on all fronts

New job at a company with future potential
- Job building progressive talents
+ A job doing something I actually want to support as a person
+ A job in Seattle, not Bellevue
- Escape sales

*Completed with flying colors. I have a new Marketing Manager - Affiliate Networks position that I enjoy a lot. Same company and I still live in Bellevue but I'm okay with that for now.

New apartment on the west side with a kickass kitchen
- Cook and stuff

*My new 1br is quite nice and I do cook a lot! I'm not particularly attached to the apartment but I am attached to living in my own place.

Learn real statistics (applied?)
- Write a blog with statistics as subject matter
*While I did some good review of stats work I never did anything substantive. I think there are possibilities in my new professional position to utilize stats anew. Even multivariate testing!

Learn to program software
-Create, build, get skill for future
*Nothing happening here but again, possibilities at work.

Learn to play an instrument
- Make my own music
*Nope... Been thinking of a Launchpad recently.

Own a new car
- Sweet
*Old one is doing well so haven't brought myself to kill it.

Super fit, totally super
*Not yet.. but just wait :)

Go camping and hiking
-It's awesome
*Only a little of this lately. Trying to do it more. Not vital though, really.

Write Senior student thesis for Western retroactively
- Graduate with honors
*Not sure on this one anymore.


So now for a new list. Some old, some new. had a god start on some of them already!

Super fit, totally super
*I hit 175 pounds recently and that's fucking ridic.
- Lose weight, weight 155 pounds
- Run 10k
- Get eyes checked
Bonus: 6 pack just cause

Budget
- Stick to it!
- Increase net worth $1,000 per month
- If you want to spend more, make more!

Fix dat shi~
- Car exhaust smell
- air conditioning
- Fix bike ignition
- Bike scheduled maintenance
- Car maintenance (oil, tires, fluids)

Curiosities:
Study negotiation
Speed reading
Make my own music
Write Diary
Program a computer (language)


Get rid of some crap
- Guitars
- Computer junk (build HTPC?)
- keyboard tray
- sell expensive mountaineering gear?

(comment on this)

Sunday, April 10th, 2011
1:03 pm - Science!
The universe is resoundingly interesting and beautiful
And while confounding beliefs are often refutable
It pains me to see the advice some are giving
because life is beautiful and totally worth living
So in the interest of preserving and loving that life
Eschew hokus pokus and mystical tripe
Trust in science because it's saved us before
and many faiths only seem to lead to prayer and war
If you're alive today science has likely saved your life
So give it credit and ignore the stupid bullshit on fox news and homeopathic message boards

Okay it kinda fell apart at the end there. Maybe more work later.

(comment on this)

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011
12:44 am - Starcraft 2 I'm breaking up with you
I'm really good at Starcraft 2 after all the time I spend thinking about it. Top 1% in the world, actually.

http://sc2ranks.com/team/90489#alltime

That said I'm stagnating. Time to move forward.

Things I'd rather do than play SC2 all day-- and have significant improvement by August on all fronts

New job at a company with future potential
- Job building progressive talents
+ A job doing something I actually want to support as a person
+ A job in Seattle, not Bellevue
- Escape sales

New apartment on the west side with a kickass kitchen
- Cook and stuff

Learn real statistics (applied?)
- Write a blog with statistics as subject matter

Learn to program software
-Create, build, get skill for future

Learn to play an instrument
- Make my own music

Own a new car
- Sweet

Super fit, totally super

Go camping and hiking
-It's awesome

Write Senior student thesis for Western retroactively
- Graduate with honors

(comment on this)

Monday, September 6th, 2010
8:57 pm - I hate shopping
Psychological research, from what I understand, has mixed readings on what extent a personality changes after childhood. Some suggest that after age 11 little changes, for instance. What does that mean for me if I don't like who I am today?

I want to improve myself-- not very happy about my appearance or my person. It's rainy and wet outside again and it reminds me of college. Something about everyone around you intent on improving themselves puts a different kind of pressure on things. This is no status-quo job and escapist-hobby feeling that I am accustomed to. This is another point in life where I feel like I have to change things for the better.

I dislike most of the clothing I own but can't seem to do well in finding things I do like. The aggravation comes from my inability to judge what 'good' is-- I am unusually unsatisfied with my purchases shortly thereafter and have tendencies of a cheapskate. In a way this parallels my social interactions-- they happen with or without awkwardness but I only rarely have a good read on if things are really going well and feel like I have even less control on the direction they're going. I've always wanted to be charismatic; I like being outspoken and the center of attention. But I'm not.

These things -- my appearance, my social abilities -- are things I feel like I do not know how to put energy toward. How do you develop fashion sense or charisma? Where do you go for that? How do I improve these things in myself?

I worry that I am genetically bound to these things. I tend to keep things the same and not try new things. I can't find people I _really_ like with any regularity. I am moody and, some people think, abrasive for seemingly no reason. I have vices, albeit 'harmless' ones like video games. I don't like my hair.

I'm worried-- is this a pattern I can break? Am I just one more generation of bi-polar addict?

I do not want to be my father.

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Saturday, January 23rd, 2010
2:15 am - Masculine
I go to clubs and even when I'm having a good time I never hit on girls. Somehow if I'm not drunk enough to not notice they make me feel impotent. Maybe I'm just a pussy who doesn't approach women-- considering I know a large group of people now who are very attractive and I've never made a move on any of them.

I don't want to be single, but every time I do meet someone I get so disinterested unless they are instigating.

What's wrong with me.

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Sunday, November 1st, 2009
2:26 am - Halloween
For Halloween I dressed up as someone who is unliked and unwanted.

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Monday, June 22nd, 2009
4:44 pm
Does it make me a horrible person that part of me never wants to interact with my father again?

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Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
12:41 am - What would Jehovah do?
Met someone. Fell for her slowly over time. Listened to everyone say she fell for me. Watched how she avoided bonding and intimacy. Blamed her religion. Blamed fear. I have too many secrets and they are driving me mad. Frustration.

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Monday, March 2nd, 2009
12:53 pm - laff
http://xkcd.com/550/

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Sunday, January 18th, 2009
6:35 pm - Uncle Bud
My millionaire Uncle Bud has written me. Here's what I'm not sending him in order to not spoil my family's inheritance. Note that he has said many times how he wants to help, and now refuses to give any money to both my parents and my brother, who are in financial hard-times and want only to help themselves outlast them or, in the case of my brother, go to school.

Bud says:
Subject: Jeff
Body: i think he needs some guidance. i have refused to give him any more money. he says he is broke. i recommend you tell him to join one of the armed services immediately. uncle bud

Me:
Hi Uncle Bud

Let me start by saying I appreciate all that you have given us. You have been generous and amicable. That said, I disagree with you on two main points here.

First, my brother may need some guidance. However, you should realize he just turned 21 and is moving in a great direction for his life. He made some mistakes as a teenager but to suggest that he is misguided now is very disrespectful to him. He lost his job. He is in school full time and having trouble finding another job. He wants to get a degree in business and aspires to manage hotels. He is an intelligent, charismatic young man and, quite frankly, way too good for the military. This is my second point.

Several years ago I discussed with my brother to prospect of joining the armed forces. There may be some small advantages, financial or otherwise, but I did not recommend the military to him then nor will I do so now. I love him too much to see him killed or to encourage a situation in which he would be required to directly kill or facilitate the killing of another human being.

Thank you for your suggestion.

-Matt

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Saturday, January 3rd, 2009
1:31 am - Boring
My life is going in a good direction. I'm gainfully employed and financially stable, no stressful segments and no problems in my life.

Why do I feel so boring and unimpressed with myself?

I've done many interesting things with my life and accomplished many of my goals.

Why am I still struggling to be socially successful?

Am I destined to be boring and awkward forever?


I'm picking goals and motivating myself to move forward, but I don't see a way out. I see distractions. Like the middle-aged man who takes cooking classes to 'spice-up' his life, when in fact the problem is a lack of base ingredients. I feel like i"m doing everything wrong and I don't know why.

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Thursday, November 27th, 2008
3:25 am
Fucking awkward. Story of my life.

current mood: ffffffffffffffffffffff

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Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
12:40 am
I think I just met someone wonderful. I think I already screwed it up. I hope I see her again :/

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Thursday, September 4th, 2008
10:30 pm - A Life Hiatus
I hadn't realized how long it's been since I've posted. Not only has it been a significant amount of time, it has been one of the most significant time periods in my life.

I am having such a good time. The house that I live in is great. My roommates are wonderful and great to spend time with. My job is challenging and lies directly in the industry which I want to work. My coworkers, boss included, are great people and I have a great time with them. I'm very very happy right now. How did it get this way? What path did I turn on? Sit back and enjoy while I chronicle the wonderment that is my latest post.

Wonderfully, as expected, I was offered a job by GMI. I am to be a panel consultant, forever destined to have a difficult-to-describe job. I negotiated the offer, celebrated profusely, and mentally prepared for what was to be the next big step in my life.

Simultaneously I visited California. First I attended a wedding in Los Angeles for my former college roommate Andrew. His long-term girlfriend and him finally tied the knot. It was great to see that he had not actually changed much. The ceremony was great, and I had a lot of fun at the reception. The two underage kids sitting next to me outmaneuvered me soundly. The champagne was not drunk by them --despite my best efforts-- and was instead drunk by me. Good game, underagers. I said goodbye to those friends fairly quickly and moved on to say hello to my mom's sister and her kids.

Sacramento California is where she lives. She just started work for Regence Blue Shield as a project manager. I hadn't seen her, John, or her kids for at least eight years. I stayed for the weekend and it was wonderful. Swimming every day, having no responsibilities beyond eating and sleeping, and getting to spend time with my cousins was great. I was also lucky enough to have my former insights reaffirmed: those two kids -- identical in age gap to my brother and I-- are absurdly similar to me and my brother respectively. They have the correct interests, intellect, social dispositions, and even the correctly corresponding haircolor. With Doug have played Halo 3 extensively and with Nick I reminisced on my status as an older brother and tried to give him some good advice.

Then, after arriving in Seattle I got about halfway to Bellingham before my water pump apparently failed in my Nissan. The engine died as I pulled into a parking spot at a rest stop and I was _so_ worried that I had cracked the block. When I put some water into the radiator (after seeing that all of it had trained onto the cement) it immediately boiled and spewed out of the radiator cap for more than 90 seconds; it was very akin to Old Faithful. That car was towed to a repair shop in Arlington and I was lucky enough to have a good friend, Chris, to drive me that remaining 40 minutes back to my home in Bellingham. $500 later my car is running well.

Once I got back to Bellingham I had a little bit over two full weeks to move myself to Bellevue. Let me say this: packing up all of your stuff and moving to an area you have never visited and know very little about takes at least two weeks to do comfortably. That said, I was not very comfortable about moving. I saw several rooms in houses and realized quickly that $500 on a room in Bellevue gets you a large walk-in closet. For a nice apartment that's not a shithole you are looking at $1100 plus per month for a studio apartment or an insane commute on I-405.

I was feeling significant stress and, after much looking on craigslist etc. I visited some rooms one weekend. both were unacceptable, and my plan on that hot, summer day, was to make it to those two appointments and then find a cool place with Internet access can make some more. This, however, was not to be a good weekend. Immediately after seeing the second house my cell phone battery died. Shortly thereafter, my laptop slipped off the seat of my crappy Dodge (no air conditioning because the Nissan was in the shop) and, due to a faulty hard drive, stopped working. Defeated and unable to contact any friends in the area I retreated back to my friend Chris's. There we ghetto-rigged a phone charger using a USB cable and many adapters. My phone was alive! Then I set up a date with a Japanese girl who was rumored to have a boyfriend and set off for Seattle again.

She and I had a good time, given that she is as dumb as a brick. Parked in Pioneer Square, my car waited patiently for our return. However, she failed to protect my assets by simply locking the door. Woe was I to find my duffel bag missing, my dash plastics torn to hell, and my stereo missing. But there, something on the windshield. A business card from a police officer? "Your stereo is in evidence." Yes, you're thinking right, they actually caught the guy. The catch? It will likely be months before I receive my property back. What's worse, that stupid Japanese girl didn't even apologize for egregious error. After a night of sleeping in her host family's spare bedroom alone I left for more fruitless house searching.

Then, some days later when I returned to Bellevue, I saw a few rooms and an apartment. God damned expensive, seriously. But then, serendipitously, a phone call from a landlord not 3 miles away. He and his wife on this house and rent out all six fully-furnished rooms. They are in the process of doing several renovations but the house is great. Fully furnished, with professional cleanings in the communal areas, and style in every room to no end. Nevertheless, I was mostly sold on the room by the wonderful warmth, inherent interesting qualities, and conversation ability of the two landlords. This was a great decision that has already yielded me a $30 "nice guy" discount on rent every month. The room is great and I didn't even have to move my furniture. Oh, and there will soon be a hot tub setup with CD player installed :D.

That is all for today, I think. Time for bed and work tomorrow.

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